Regardless of what has been going on, I have been finding that God has truly been showing His love for me through other people. He has been showering me in love lately. And I cannot help but absolutely fall in love with my God. more and more every day He has been showing me how truly special I am, how truly special we all are. I’ve been finding more and more people that are so special and it all started with when one of my classmates had gotten into a fatal car accident and the results of the car, had shown me, that everyone in that vehicle in all reality, should’ve been dead. Life is way to precious to be a malicious person. To be a selfish person. To be a bitter person.
Today has shown me what I have been praying for other people, God has been showing what I have prayed for toward me too. I was talking to a close friend of mine today about how everything I have gone through and how awful I feel, I feel like the scum of the earth, God has been showing me otherwise, and as I was talking to her, I realized, that just as much as I want God to shower love all over the people I have specifically prayed for, I have been longing for that myself. My cup overflows at the thought that God thinks so highly of me, to send people I never thought I would have the chance to be close with and elevate me the way I never thought I would be elevated and even esteem me higher than I typically view myself.
A very good friend of mine had gotten me this cool canteen that changes colors as you turn it. Almost like an oil in a puddle of water kind of look, it’s actually exactly like that. This very dear friend of mine has been getting me one or two bouquet of roses each time the previous bouquet of roses have unfortunately died. And, she wrote me a letter, that as I am sitting at a coffee shop super upset, and it says this:
Don’t mind the ghetto way this is ripped. It did not want to leave my journal. Unfortunately, this is the last bouquet of roses that I will give you in our freshman year. I just wanted to do more than roses. You said you wanted a cup like this. So I took it upon myself to send to send you home with the “Magic Mug” from the Disneyland of drinks, Dutch Bros. You’re magic Mychie. You have the Holy Ghost flowing through your veins. I want this mug to represent that you are special. When the light hits you, your color changes, you radiate differently. Never let your difference be your detriment. Allow your your difference to be your drive to pursue ALL God has for you. Believe God for your future and allow yourself to see you, the way God sees you. You are magic. Not the bad (and, but the kind that makes dreams, reality.) YOU ARE SPECIAL! The Bible tells you not to think more highly of yourself than you ought. But you should think highly of yourself, because you are commanded to love others as you love yourself. You have permission to LOVE YOURSELF!!
That letter has changed my view of myself. I am meant to change the world, and as someone who has thought so low of themselves for so many years, old habits die hard, and this one is hard to break. God has been placing so many people into my life to uplift me and help me realize that I am special, with just the way they speak to me and how they choose their words when they speak of me, to me.
We are all so special, and I don’t know why we fight that so hard. There was this one thing I had shared with my friend Angelina, and she said I should share my writings, and I think I will. We shall see. This was the quote that helped her… I hope it helps someone else again. That’s what I’m here for, to help.
“Stop apologizing. You don’t have to say sorry for how you laugh, how you dress, how you make your hair, how you do your makeup, how you speak. You don’t have to be sorry for being yourself. Do it fearlessly. It’s time to accept: this is you, and you gotta spend the rest of your life with you. So start loving your sarcasm, your awkwardness, your weird habits, your unique sense of humor, your voice, your talents, your everything. It will make your life so much easier.” – postivezone on IG