Ladies and gentleman, I’m feeling a whole lot better than I was yesterday and a few days ago. I seriously am doing better, I’m not 100% better, but who really is after a few days? I am accepting that not everyone likes me and that I do in fact need to change my attitude. So that’s where I’m at. I’m accepting that God needs to change me and has been changing me through a very long and a very hard process. I ultimately just need positive vibes, and prayers y’all. Mine and my sisters relationship is awful right now and it’s tearing me apart. I honestly feel like it’s all my fault. I hate it because I cannot change who I am over night, and I feel as though she’s expecting me to change as fast as she has apparently. I genuinely see that she doesn’t like me. I feel bad, and I wish I could change my attitude but I cannot, not over night at least. I’ve been praying, praying, praying about this situation for a long time and I need God to intercede at this point, I no longer have control over this. I wish and I hope and pray that one day we can get along and just put up with each other and just deal with the fact that we are family and we will have to deal with each other and just get over the stuff we don’t like about each other. I feel like an awful person because of this and maybe I am. I just want this all to die down because it’s been a long 11 months with our relationship being so awful.
This has got to change and it will change. I’m sick of feeling like this and it’s got to stop! I’ve had enough. It’ll get better from here on out. It has to.