Last night I had a revelation about why I wear what I wear. I only wear skirts and dresses and it was from the help of someone very dear and important to me helped me realize that I need to wear what I want to wear not according to what everyone else wants me to wear. I have been doing so out of obligation and to please other people and to also was hiding my body behind that so men can’t look at me in a lustful way. When I was 14, I would always wear skinny jeans and forgive me if I don’t explain this well enough, but I was at a small party and this older guy who was 25, helped himself to grope me and feel up not only my butt, but also my vagina. So I then began to watch what I wore from then on but I didn’t start wearing skirts and dresses only until like two years ago. I was doing so because  I am leader in our church here in my lil home town and I was just doing it because it was out of obligation of everyone else and to hide behind them so that men can’t lust after me. I want to start dressing how I want to dress for myself and for God and no one else, not to hide behind them, not to make anyone else happy. I really appreciate Flynn being there and spending so much time and effort to tell me that I need to stop being a people pleaser because it’s been making me so unhappy. And he said I need to start doing things that make me happy. So Therefore I have come to the conclusion that people who are people pleasers are the unhappy ones. And I can testify to that. So I am going to stop doing what everyone else wants me to do and start doing what I want to do and dress how I want to dress. Not accommodate to how everyone else wants me to act and how everyone else wants me to talk. I have been doing so much for everyone else and been trying to make everyone else happy to where I was pouring my cup and filled everyone else’s and now mine is empty and I have nothing to keep myself happy and sustained and taken care of mentally and keeping myself taken care of. I am so grateful for that revelation and him taking all the time and effort to just to say all of that for over an hour just so that he can make sure I’m happy. I love the fact that I now will do what I want according to me and God and no one else.

You’ve spent so much time making everyone else happy, you forgot to ask if there was anything making you happy.

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