I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. A lot about my past. A lot about my past loves, a lot about my memories with them. But more than anything, a lot about myself. I was actually looking at my own blog and reading the one with the title of “Chapter 21.” And it had me thinking, what if, God has been writing a Autobiography or something like narrating my life of (she who should not be named, me).
What would my first year of life be like? How would He be writing about me? Would He be writing:
“Chapter 1: She just took her first steps today. I know what her future holds, and that is one to many big steps she’s going to take. I cannot wait to see her grow up. My beautiful daughter I am always with you, every step of the way.” As one of my good friends would say, “that’s my baby girl.”
Chapter 5, she’s waking up for her first day of school. She is growing up so fast. These are her steps into taking the next journey in her life. I still see everything she is going to be in Me one day. I love her so much. It brings me great joy when I see her turn her life to Me one day. She’s so intelligent, she doesn’t even realize it. That’s my baby girl. I hope she feels me right next to her every step that she takes.”
“Chapter 10. I hope my baby girl knows how much I love her. She’s not doing too well in school, I just would hope that she knew that I was there right beside every step of the way. It breaks My heart that she thinks so low of herself and that she is not doing the best she could in life right now. I just want to tell her but now isn’t the time yet. I’m still with you, every step of the way, baby girl.”
“Chapter 15. I know exactly what she is doing. Even when she is walking late at night, all those bears and all those men who were seeking after her in the late hours of the night, I’m protecting her. I have had my hand in her life since the day I went on that Cross. I knew her before she was in the womb. I love you, my darling. Hang in there. Daddy is by your side every step of the way.”
“Chapter 16. Please don’t do this. I know life is tough. Especially yours. I am still here my darling. I have greater things planned for you than what you are thinking. I know you feel like you do not belong here on the earth that I created. I have made you to do great things in this life. I know you feel unworthy to live life with everyone, but I do not want you to go down that path. That is not the path I created you for, my dear. I love you. You are coming with Me very soon. You will be seeing every step that I have been with you. Just wait.”
“Chapter 20. Oh, my dear. Ever since the first step you took when you were 16, I was so excited to see you take the first steps on our journey together that you can actually see. I created you for better things, My love. Since you are feeling very down on yourself, I will send you someone that will help you along the way. You need to fall in love with yourself, just as I have. Eugene will help you. Let him help you. I am with you every step of the way, do not forget that if this falls through, that I am with you every step of the way.”
“Chapter 21. Oh, my dear, love. You have come so far. You have learned so much in just one year. Now you have answered a call (you) never thought you would take. I know this hurts. I know it is causing you to be weary. But in your weakness I am made strong. I am living in you, therefore you have My strength living inside you. Rest upon that. I am so very proud of you. I will restore your virtue. So do not worry. I am still with you every step of the way.
One thing that God has given me. Is He has showed me the times He has stepped into certain situations. Maybe not every situation yet. But a lot of them. As I was sitting here on a night where everyone was out having fun, I was spending a little bit of time with the Lord. I was sharing my hurt. I was sharing my pain. I was sharing my thoughts. I was sharing moments that I had cherished with Him tonight. Now I know why I was meant to stay here.
My future is in God’s hands. He has been with me every step of the way. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.